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Once Upon a Time, Today Was My Anniversary
Posted by: Traylor Lovvorn
Tags: anniversary,divorce,Reconciliation Posted date:
January 11, 2010 |
7 Comments
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Today used to be my anniversary.
If Melody and I had not divorced, we would be celebrating 18 years of marriage tonight. As it is, we are not sure what to do with January 11th.
Should we celebrate? That feels kindof odd. That marriage is now dead.
Should we grieve? That seems a bit off as well, because our sorrow has truly been turned into gladness.
We have decided to simply remember.
To remember both the good and the bad…the joy and the pain. To remember that we would not be enjoying the intimacy we share today had we not gone through the gut-wrenching process of facing our brokenness.
We were young and in love and thought we had everything figured out. We loved God and wanted to spend the rest of our lives serving Him together. We were so convinced that we were going to the mission field to reach an unreached people group that we took back almost all of our wedding gifts, including our fine china! (My mom still hasn’t forgiven us for that one!)
I was too much of a coward to talk to Melody about my struggle with pornography before we married. I sincerely believed that once we got married that my problem would go away forever and she would never have to know.
I was wrong.
Our story took turns that we never dreamed it would take. When we said “I Do” at Samford University in 1992 it never crossed my mind that I would be divorced 10 years and 11 months later…leaving a gorgeous wife and four beautiful kids to figure out what happened to Daddy.
So tonight, as Melody sleeps beside me, I remember.
I remember all that has taken place in 18 years.
Planting a church. Starting a business. Four kids. Financial struggle. Infidelity. Separation. Reconciliation. Infidelity. Divorce. Court appearances. Church discipline. Melody’s remarriage. Another man tucking my kids in at night. Melody’s divorce. Learning to co-parent well. Pursuing Melody. Dating. Remarriage.
It’s been quite the journey, and, as much as we want to slip away into our “happily ever after”, we understand there will be more pain and conflict. But we have come to know that there is a pain that heals.
Happy Old Anniversary, honey.
Oh…and you can click here to see what we looked like on January 11, 1992. Be nice!
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About the author
Traylor Lovvorn
Traylor was married for 11 years before his secret struggle with pornography and sexual addiction ripped his family apart, leaving his wife Melody and 4 children to try to figure out what had happened to Daddy. After 6 years of divorce and much counseling and recovery, God miraculously restored his family and he and Melody were re-married in 2008.
Traylor was married for 11 years before his secret struggle with pornography and sexual addiction ripped his family apart, leaving his wife Melody and 4 children to try to figure out what had happened to Daddy. After 6 years of divorce and much counseling and recovery, God miraculously restored his family and he and Melody were re-married in 2008.
7 Comments
Traylor Lovvorn
You are most welcome, Lindsey. May each of you continue to believe the Gospel daily and not despair over the past. He is singing over you daily!
nikkie
incredible testimony of God's faithfulness. our anniversary was the 9th of Jan and have some of the same thoughts….celebrate? grieve? so glad HE is able.
Jason
Your story goes to show the pain and chaos a divorce can cause.
Maybe in the future, you can somehow use the date to help others avoid divorce. Certainly, you should do that all the time, but perhaps the 11th could be used for something very, very special that you both collaborate on.
Traylor Lovvorn
Great idea, Jason! Thanks for the comment. Please check back often!
Wilma
I love how you tell this! I always was a sucker for love stories, especially when they had a happy ending! This is no ordinary story, or fairytale, but what a wonderful real story!
Traylor Lovvorn
Thank you, Wilma. God is so very good and we enjoy bragging on Him!
About Us
Hi, we are Traylor and Melody Lovvorn and we were married for 11 years before sexual addiction and infidelity ripped our family apart. By God’s grace, our family was reconciled in 2008. Hang out here for awhile and you’ll discover how this miracle happened. Learn more about us…
Copyright 2007-2011 Traylor & Melody Lovvorn. All Rights Reserved.
You are making me cry; such a beautiful story; and such great encouragement to us who are still in the middle of the "often feels like" devastation of rebuilding a lost marriage.
Thank you for the reminder that the death of the old marriage is not necessarily a bad thing, and the reminder to work towards that joy~ that one day this pain will be just a memory.
Blessings,
Lindsey